Gold Bars Page

Here are some quotes taken from actual Federal Employee Performance Evaluations...

Employee Evaluations

"Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"This employee is not really so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"Works well when under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee is depriving a village, somewhere, of an idiot."

"This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

"He's been working with glue too much."

"He would argue with a sign post."

"He brings allot of joy ... whenever he leaves the room."

"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

"A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"If you gave him a penny for his thought, you'd get change."

"Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

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